• Health,  Mind-Body

    Anniversary Reaction

    I had never heard the term anniversary reaction before today, but I decided to type a few things into DuckDuckGo, and there it was. Why did I do that and what is it? Read on. As I’ve written about elsewhere I experienced a very traumatic event a few years ago. Basically it turned out to be non-life threatening, but I didn’t know that at the time. And it shook me to the core. Slowly I’m making my way back, but around September every year, I get very easily overwhelmed. I get sad easily. I feel much more pain from my back injury. I get poor sleep. I feel stressed out…

  • Health,  Mind-Body,  Shame

    A very personal anniversary ☞ Part 3 of 3

    This post has been so long in the making, I don’t even know if anyone even cares anymore. On the other hand, better late than never I say. When I last wrote about this I was feeling rather hopeless about my life so far, and extremely worried about what was wrong with me. Thus far, according to the doctors, it was practically nothing. Just a pinched nerve. But they had arranged for an MRI. Where I live though, turns out that takes some time to get… So, for a good long while I was on sick-leave, in to much pain to do pretty much anything. Couldn’t drive, couldn’t wear a…

  • Health

    Fasting

    I’m one of these weird annoying people who experiment on my self. Basically I have done ever since I got some thorough experience with the healthcare system here in Sweden. Sure, I ate herbal extracts and some vitamins before too. But since being ‘bullied’ by doctors who seem to know very little indeed, I started looking around for my self. (Though this doesn’t mean I disregard everything, I just don’t rely on doctors inside the Swedish healthcare system to actually look out for my well being in terms of diet, lifestyle, or ‘mental health’ broadly speaking. I am a very committed LCHF guy, who have recently started to experimenting with…

  • Health,  Mind-Body,  Video

    Everything in my last book was bullshit!

    I meditated long well before I came across Dan Harris. I first noticed him when I started using the ABC News app on my Apple TV. He was funny in a dry way, very witty, handsome (though to protect whatever cred I may have I feel a very personal need to point out that at least he is shorter than I am…), and he quickly became one of my favorit people on there. And then I started hearing 10% being thrown around. And as I’ve written before, that’s how I found his app. It is now my main mediation support, and I love it! What may be less well know,…

  • Health,  Mind-Body

    Emma Seppälä – The Happiness Track

    I recently came across an interview by Dan Harris where he talked with a Stanford PhD called Emma Seppälä, about stress and happiness. I was intrigued, but as it was the Christmas season I sort of forgot about it for the time being. Then a few weeks ago I started listening to random episodes of Dan’s 10% Happier podcast. In this podcast Dan talks to various people from all sorts of walks of life, about meditation and mindfulness and how it has helped them. And again, there she was, Seppälä. (As a Scandinavian you always tend to see names with umlauts very clearly…) I knew that name, and decided to…

  • Health,  Personal

    Shit happens…

    So… the past three weeks. Intense is, I think, one of the words springing very easily to mind.  It was the 16 of September and I was supposed to prepare for something or other with college, having just gone back to university. (Story for a different time.) Anyway, the whole Friday I felt iffy. My stomach hurt. They had been feeling strange for a couple of days at this point, but I had thought nothing of it. Especially since pain in the body is something I react slowly to these days.  Anyway, eventually, after having spent the better part of the day considering what to do (I couldn’t really move…

  • Health,  Shame

    The unforeseen shame of pain

    This originally appeared on Medium. Over a year and half ago I, for reasons still to be explained to me, ended up in hospital after waking up with chest-pains, pain in my left arm and nausea. The good news were that it turned out not to be a heart condition, nor a problem with my lungs. On the contrary. Practically every test they ran looked fine. Except for all the pain. After months of waiting (Scandinavian healthcare may have some advantages; listening to the patient and speed are not two of them…), I found out I had a couple of dehydrated discs in my thorax, and three herniated ones. Two…

  • Health

    A very personal anniversary ☞ Part 2 of 3

    This post originally appeared on my Tumblr. Me: A heart attack? Surely not, I’m young! Conscience: You’re overweight. Me: I’m doing really well on my low carb and walking! Conscience: They’ll blame that! Me: Shut it! I tried to calm my self down, but my fears were mounting with every minute that crawled past. I didn’t know what to do. I felt like I was dying and couldn’t move out of my bed for shaking with cold. In the end, I decided to text (my teeth chattered to much to talk at this point) my mother sleeping at the other end of the house. (Yeah, I live with my mother;…

  • Health

    A very personal anniversary ☞ Part 1 of 3

    This post originally appeared on my Tumbler. Not everybody can truthfully say their life changed drastically, and dramatically, over night. Yet I can. It happened on the last day of September 2014. All day at work, a library archive at the time, I had felt weird. It was if my upper body was somehow compressed and my breathing felt somewhat laboured. I tried hanging from the beams supporting the archive shelves, I tried to press my arms as far back as I could as this felt like it eased the pressure over my chest. I tried laying on the hard floor to get that cracking noise, maybe that would help?…