I’ve soon owned this blog for about a year. And so far, I really haven’t written much. It’s not that I don’t want to write, I just can’t seem to do it. Now I am a procrastinator, absolutely, and that led me to this TED talk by Tim Urban of Wait but Why.
I could instantly relate! I’ve tried to get through several college degrees through the years, yet the only one that actually stuck (so far) was one in Publishing. Not because I found it more interesting or more worth while. No! I had a deadline. I had a certain number of weeks left of student loans, and that effectively gave me a deadline. Be done by this time, or else you’re on the street with no degree at all.
But the talk also got me thinking about what my excuses are. All the ones you hear are there and accounted for. Like fear, fear of judgment, not thinking you know anything about anything, imposter syndrome, being fairly introverted etc. One of the funnier ones though, was what I call my ‘I-need-isms’. That is things I tell my self I need to do X.
I need a publisher (I have an account with Amazon KDP for one), I need a platform (I have accounts on WordPress, Blogger, Medium, Tumblr, SqaureSpace, Twitter and many more), I need this app to write in (I likely own the vast majority of major writing and word processing apps for both macOS and iOS), I need some new swanky hardware to do this on (I have an iPad Pro with a Logi Create keyboard, I have a MacBook Pro, an old but still working MacBook, an iPhone etc), I need to just put my notes somewhere (I have FieldNote books, Moleskines, Paper Blanks, several digital tools and an Apple Pencil just littering the place). The reasons are stupid, none of them really valid, and yet they can effectively keep me from producing anything for weeks on end, while I lust for a new Mac, or a keyboard or a what ever.
I consciously didn’t make any New Years resolution for 2017. Not because I’m set against them, but I didn’t feel it would add anything constructive. Instead I have a lot of little habits I want to continue (mainly sticking to my low-carb diet, meditating daily and writing). But a new habit I would very much like to cultivate for 2017 is trying to not be fooled by my own ‘I-need-ism’ bullshit. I don’t think it would be meaningful, not truthful, to even try to suggest I could live a life free of procrastination. But I might be able to stop this. As they say, even dull pencils make marks. There is no reason for me not to do what I actually love; to write.